I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
