Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
