I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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