ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
