i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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