What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
