The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
