today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
did you just send me my own nude
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
