If i come over, it means nothing
Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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