dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
