I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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