you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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