There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
