Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
