It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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