i don't plan on having that self control this summer
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
