You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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