Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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