1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
