I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
