I'm gonna have a badass scar
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Randomize
