O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
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