Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
