You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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