I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
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