Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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