i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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