operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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