So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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