I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
