maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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