It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
