would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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