Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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