I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
