Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
