I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
