He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
