I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
