I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
