i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
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