Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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