We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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