So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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