I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
