Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
