just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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