Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
