he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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