I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
