CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
