who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
