we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
