yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
