I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
