you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
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